Generally speaking (at least within my framework) there are 2 ways to understand something, either building upon existing assumptions, or creating them from seemingly out of nowhere.
Most of the time it is preferred to understand through an existing assumption, or multiple of them, but point is that one may work through how something is the way it is by combining building blocks together so eventually they reached to the understanding that they have.
But what if the assumptions are wrong?
Usually when they are wrong they can be proven to be wrong, but what if it can't be verified?
This actually happens a lot when communicating ideas, and a sad, or fortunate reality is that if two people have different ways of seeing reality (which happens quite often), what would end up happening is that they both have no idea what the other is thinking to begin with.
It is easy to start thinking of the other person as insane, because after all if "it doesn't make sense to me and goes against my viewpoint", it is for some type of people the easier way to look at others. But if the person is in any way agreeable albeit not very, they may try to ask questions to see how the person has arrived to their conclusion.
Sometimes they get it, and sometimes they don't, so they agree to disagree. But sometimes they think they get it, but they don't, so things starts to get more and more awkward as misunderstanding stays.
If there is a reasonable amount of effort from both sides, why would that still happen? The answer is simply because of the way people assume that their assumptions are correct from the beginning. They may think it's universal, but the reality is that it isn't.
So the way to solve is it to remove as much assumptions as possible and start building them from the ground up. Stop trying to assume things has to be in a certain way, instead allow the person to explain why they came to the conclusion. Things you think matters may not matter to them, and vice versa. It is only their perspective that matters. Simple right?
Apparently not.
At this point I should start having the expectation that people wouldn't be willing to give up on their biases in any way. The amount of times where someone has come up to me and pretend that I think in a way they think I do when I have never explained it has really been frustrating especially when people would say these things while acting as if there can't be any other way I think about things.
This is different from acknowleging an assumption being an assumption, even just saying "maybe" is more than good enough to express that, yet for some reason, maybe because of some form of cultural or societal factors, people just think it is better to confidently be wrong about something over acknowleging how it may just be incorrect at any moment.
There is absolutely no need to shut up and say nothing, just allow yourself to be vulnerable to being incorrect please if anyone ever harasses you because you think you may be wrong chances are you are doing the right thing.
Yes it does feel bad to constantly be misunderstood but it is much worse when people act as if they have understood the thing and be comfortable about it.
Just because I feel bad about the reality that people mostly don't understand me and that people haven't understood me on a personal level basically ever doesn't mean I prefer someone telling me how they know about me in certain aspects when I can easily tell that's not the case.
Instead of amplifying the issue maybe try and understand it, even if it means to use up much of your energy to remove your biases.
And if that's too hard for you, you don't need to care, if I blame this on you this would be my fault, not yours.
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