It's like when you hit a certain low and you thought to yourself how to be even lower than you were you start having stupid ideas such as thinking to organise an event that is not going to help with anything at all because of how unrealistic it is.
And I kinda did that anyways because I'm that stupid.
Look, it's not that in the end I actually did the organising part of the event because I just decided to let someone who doesn't even know how the event works to do all the rough planning because apparently it's "easy" just so I could ease the burden of actually having to take the responsibility, but it's also not like it's a bad thing when you just need someone crazy enough to take the leap of faith to do something that was thought to be impossible.
Having a much bigger goal compared to mine is cool because that way I can actually be satisfied with the actual result compared to me usually with no result to be satisfied with because the goal simply hasn't been accomplished for months, and that's what ended up happening.
It kinda sucks that everything was just "leaked" just because they think being lowkey with it is impossible if we want to do it on time and that ended up not even mattering if I just also took a leap of faith, but it isn't really that much of a bad thing when you ended up seeing different people randomly appearing just because of you even though it isn't really about me.
It could definitely have gone much better, after all there are way too many different events that could have been prevented, and after seeing just how things could've gone wrong it would feel as if the event is all a waste (especially when I volunteered to take less benefits from this), but hey I got my goal which is what they tried to prevent and I'm just this good at defending so I'm satisfied even though it gave me literally nothing tangible as a reward.
Now how do I be even more pessimistic than I am so that I can often feel motivated and satisfied with some real work?
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